By Juliet Ebirim
With social media ruling most parts of our lives these days, nobody is ever too far away. Old friends that you never thought you would see again suddenly have become social media neighbours, because anyone could find anyone again. For this reason, old friends have renewed their friendships and old lovers are tempted to reignite old flame.
Our topic this week, is a true life experience, where a man stumbled on his wife’s Whatsapp chat and found that his wife and an old lover have rekindled their old flame, chatting and flirting regularly and in fact, planning a rendezvous. So, if you were in this man’s shoes, what would you do?
If I’m the man it’s war – Amanda Ebeye, Actress
Of course I’ll be mad but since he’s just flirting right, it’s going to end there. Honestly it’s not going to be that big a deal. But if I overheard their conversation or see their rendezvous on social media – like both of them taking pictures on Instagram and I see they are about igniting their old flame, it won’t be funny. He will definitely have to explain to me what’s going on. You know when it comes to infidelity I can manage a man doing it. But women? No. You’re the angel that guards your children. She’s wrong. If I’m the man it’s war. The issue of teasing him does not even arise, because how could a married woman be teasing an old lover.
We may have to re-evaluate our marriage — Seun Omojola, Singer/Actress
The funny thing is, how did I know he’s flirting with his ex on social media? It means I’m probably checking through his phone or stalking that particular ex knowing fully well that maybe a part of him has always been with that person. Well, I’m not that person. But if I am, I’ll talk to him about it and ask how he would feel if he finds out I do the same. Then whatever answer he gives would determine my reaction to the situation but not in a crazy manner. Well, to be candid I don’t snoop around personally when I’m in a relationship. But if I find myself in this situation. I would still call him out on it. And make him understand it is not right and if he feels adamant or trying to play smart about it. Then we have to re-evaluate our marriage. Because I don’t expect such. Don’t do unto others what you don’t want done to you.
I don’t believe in exe-s being friends — Collette Orji, Actress
Personally, within my own rights and boundaries I don’t even believe in exes being friends. I know exes can be colleagues but I don’t see friends. So those who are even still friends with my hubby on social media should know that he didn’t either tell me about them or straight flat I don’t know about it. I have my hubby’s passwords in everything. I mean everything and that’s how open we let the marriage be from inception so I tell him what I don’t like and sometimes he even says – okay I remain friends with A or delete B’s comments. It’s that simple. I don’t have time for men moving forward and looking backward. I am too busy for that kind of life and I am too real to pretend. Hubby knows when it comes to me being happy – there’s no sugar coating words. What’s even the use? I’m too real a woman to debate irrelevances. These things shouldn’t be hard – trust me am super loving and sexy and I can play the social media flirting with an ex too, which my husband knows. So everything thing is a choice. Marriage is hard and too real to bring arguments that bring heartaches. I tell him “Honey, un-friend your exes on your social media pages. When something is important, you got their numbers, you can call. I am too real to mess up my state of mind.
If it proves a deliberate, I call off the relationship — Ken Erics, Actor
I would make sure it’s actually what I think. Then have a talk with her. I always give chance for explanation. If it proves a deliberate act, I call off the relationship. Such cannot be trusted.
Some girls aren’t satisfied with one lover – Biola Ige, Actress
Well, I have come to realise that it’s natural that men fall in love with what they see and flirting with an old lover. I must have lost spark along the way, and probably don’t have the quality that this person embodies, but I will put him in my prayers, so I don’t lose him and also step up my game.
If it is a woman that is flirting with an old lover, then the boyfriend or husband should find out what could have gone wrong. But like they say, different strokes for different folks; some girls are like men who aren’t satisfied with one lover.
If he doesn’t have a genuine reason I will leave — Habibat Jinad, Actress
First, I would ask him if they are still dating each other. If he says No, I would warn him to stop flirting with her or else, I would leave him and find my way. If I don’t love him I would not ask him about it, but if there is love I will ask him and warn him. He should give me the reason why they still want to see each other again. If he doesn’t have a genuine reason then I have to leave them alone and move on with my life.